The Protector

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The Protector

Postby Mimerss on Thu Feb 26, 2015 11:45 pm

A little something I wrote on my phone, in a note.. It would seem my best stories comes to me when I'm supposed to sleep, but cannot.. Do tell me what you think, and I hope you enjoy it! :D<3

The sun rose; Shining it's beautiful beams of light onto the forests trees. Feiah'd of awoken, a ray of light tickling her eyelids with it's wonderful warmth. She opened her ember colored eyes, peering about. She'd of fallen asleep in the grassy spot she now awoken in, yesterday. Sniffing in the wonderful smells of the forest and the morning dew, she looked at her surroundings. It would seem the animals had been awake for a while; The birds singing their morning songs, and the deers grassing around peacefully. She smiled. This indeed was a perfect morn-.. A loud crack sounded, and suddenly the peace she'd of been enjoying a moment ago disappeared, and was replaced by chaos instead. The birds flew around in confusion, sounding the alarm with loud tweets. The deers that once had been grassing right beside her had vanished, fled in fear.. Her ears twitched in the way of where the loud crack had come from, her eyes soon following, searching for the source.. And there it was. A big leaky, metal gray shredder. She narrowed her eyes and barred her fangs. The smell of morning dew replaced by a stench of oil. Inside the cockpit was a Goblin.. "Of course" she muttered quietly in her Elven tongue. "The only thing they're good at.. Destroying and ravaging the nature.." She snorted, a low growl emitting from her throat. At this time she'd of pushed herself onto her feet, sneaking in closer on the horrible thing. It was not the first time she had seen one. Infact it had started to become almost common by now. Ashenvale had been invaded by Orcs for a very long time by now, and she had learnt to deal with them.. But when they treated the nature like this.. Oh it made her so mad.. So furious. One thing was sure, Feiah does not lack temper. And this she would show the Goblin inside that horrible thing.
And with that thought she sprinted towards the shredder, jumping onto its back, the only weak spot, slamming her bladed staff into the glass of the cockpit; shattering it. Pieces of glass flew around in the air, and for a moment the time almost seemed to freeze, untill a loud shriek of pain sounded; a big piece of glass had struck the Goblin, straight through its heart. The body of the Goblin continued to spasm for a few mere moments, untill it went limp, dead. The shredder stopped working as its pilot had stopped breathing. But she wasn't done. She whacked the shredder good with her staff, untill it was so battered and broken that she was sure nobody would be able to use the monstrosity again.
Heavily breathing she turned away from the shredder, the animal life slowly returning to how it was before the chaos. She thought to herself; I must protect the forest, for it is my home, and I am its guardian and protector.
Feiah Alinaris - Druid of The Wild
Lainathiel Moonshadow - Huntress & Sentinel
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Re: The Protector

Postby Elysar on Mon Mar 02, 2015 9:02 pm

Nice little piece of writing, Mims, do continue to practice! I can't remember your age, 16 or so, right? It's good English writing for someone your age!

A thing someone once told me when I first started writing on these forums is that: It's a good idea to make new lines (mellemrum) between the passages, because that way it is nicer for the reader to read it. You could consider doing that the next time you write! ^^
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Re: The Protector

Postby Mimerss on Tue Mar 03, 2015 12:11 am

Elysar wrote:Nice little piece of writing, Mims, do continue to practice! I can't remember your age, 16 or so, right? It's good English writing for someone your age!

A thing someone once told me when I first started writing on these forums is that: It's a good idea to make new lines (mellemrum) between the passages, because that way it is nicer for the reader to read it. You could consider doing that the next time you write! ^^

I actually did do that where I wrote it, but since I've written it in a note on my phone the spaces between the lines have disappeared :P been too lazy to edit it in yet xD and thanks! Yes I'm 16, but I've been playing for 6-7 years now, my English is more fluent than my Danish by now Dx
Feiah Alinaris - Druid of The Wild
Lainathiel Moonshadow - Huntress & Sentinel
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Re: The Protector

Postby Aariam on Tue Mar 03, 2015 1:38 am

Lookin good, Mims! :D Keep on writing, and I will keep on reading!
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